Subject: Blog Code Violation
Dear Mr Noodles,
It has come to our attention that your blog Eat Noodles Love Noodles violates several statutes of the London food blog code, in particular the absence of any reviews of Bob Bob Ricard, Goodman and Hawksmoor.
As your blog is now older than six months, you are no longer in the probation period for which we may turn a blind eye to such lapses. Moreover, any defence based on your blog concentrating on Chinese food and noodles cannot be used as you haven't got round to reviewing either Leong's Legends or Pearl Liang.
Frankly, we've always had you down as a troublemaker what with you being one of the few bloggers not to write about Pierre Koffman at Selfridges last autumn. That and the lack of coverage on burgers – save one perfunctory post – mark you out as someone we need to bring into line.
Given that we know that you've eaten at Goodman, we just cannot understand why you still haven't posted a review. You didn't really think you could get away without writing anything especially as you had dinner there with other bloggers (that Grubworm chap blew your cover with a mention in his review).
We know for example that you started with the pâté, chicken liver & foie gras w/onion jam & brioche toast and that you moaned about the lack of toast. We know that you wilfully refused the burger in favour of an equally excellent 400g USDA ribeye steak. We even know that you thought it weird that one end of the steak was medium, the other end rare and with only the middle being medium rare as requested.
Word is you liked the chips and that you dipped them in the moreish béarnaise. We also hear that you were in your own little world as you didn't pay much attention to what other people had as starters and that you spurned desserts after overdosing on steak.
We also cannot comprehend why you haven't shouted from the rooftops that you had a great night out. Notwithstanding the excellent company, we do know you were impressed by the classy elegant dining room and that you thought the service was unobtrusive and professional. Was it due to your embarrassment that the Argentine 2007 Salentein Reserve Pinot Noir from Mendoza you ordered was too sweet?
Consider this your first and final warning – you have until the end of the week to post on Goodman. Otherwise, we'll seize your blog, rename it Eat Burgers Love Burgers and forcibly insert multiple posts on why you can't get a decent burger in London.
The Blog Inspectors
PS: Ever thought of taking photography lessons? The photos from your Casio can be a bit crap.
If you want to know about the starters, burgers and desserts then Grubworm and Catty have reviews up. At time of writing, The London Foodie, Kavey and Uyen have yet to post but keep your eyes open as I'm sure The Blog Police are on to them.