World Cup - The Semis & The Final

Well in the real World Cup, the final is going to be Holland v Spain. I'm not sure who I'd like to win, as I've always had a soft spot for the Oranje whilst the Spanish play the game as it should be played. Anyway enough of that football chat as I'm sure all of you are on the edge of your seat and want to see who wins my foodie World Cup. 

Semi-Final: Japan 2 France 2 (France win 6-5 on penalties)

It took ages to decide who would win this. Both countries have a food culture that strives for perfection with an attention to detail albeit from differing perspectives. It was a close game and the battles all over the pitch were nothing short of outstanding. I'm thinking kobe beef v chateaubriand, sashimi v assiette de fruits de mer, and whale v ortolan. Just kidding about that last one.

I know many of you expected me to favour Japan but I love French food. It was a cuisine I properly discovered courtesy of being on expenses in Paris, a decade and more ago. It really opened my eyes to the food of the white man and I lapped it up. I haven't been to Japan and I'm sure my opinion would be very different if I had but the French prevail. Just.

Semi-Final: Australia 0 Spain 2

This is a far easier game to call. The Aussies have done well to get this far, when you consider teams like the USA and Italy have fallen by the wayside. But their run comes to a grinding halt against the Spanish. In common with many of their sports teams, it seems their food can't quite hack it at the highest level.

There's not much that the Aussies can do better than the Spanish. They may point at their greater multicultural diversity but does that matter when Spanish food is that good ? To put it another way, I'd rather eat chorizo and gambas than a snag and a shrimp from the barbie.

3rd/4th place: Japan 3 Australia 1

I wish they'd scrap this game in the real World Cup, no one wants to play in it and usually it's a game where squad players get a run out. For completeness, Japan beat Australia in a game where the likes of katsu curry and pie floater make their first appearances of the competition.

Final: France 1 Spain 2

Having eulogised about French food, they lose out to the Spanish – why ? It's because the Spanish are the lost tribe of Chinese. Before you think I’ve gone totally mad, consider the following similarities:

1) Small eats – both love small plates of food to share. The Spanish have their tapas whilst the Chinese have their dim sum and xiao chi. OK, the Spanish might drink beer rather than tea but hey the principle is the same.

2) Seafood – both love seafood and not just your common or garden fish and prawns, they both like weird stuff and go to a lot of trouble getting it. After all there is a reason why the Spanish call the stretch of coastline where percebes are found, Costa da Morte.

3) The Pig – both love all things porcine. To the Chinese, pork is the number one meat so much so that without a prefix, the word 'meat' in Chinese is understood to mean pork. Whilst the Spanish take great pride in their mighty jamon, and both races love suckling pig equally.

So I'm sorry mes amis Français, Spain lifts the World Cup in my parallel universe by dint of being the lost tribe of Chinese. But would they have won in a truly global contest with contenders such as China, India, and Vietnam, as discussed in the first post in this series ? Probably not but they are worthy of being top dog in Europe.

We'll now wait 'til Sunday to see if Spain can do the double and lift the football World Cup in addition to the foodie version. In the meantime, I'll have to pull my finger out and start work on my backlog of restaurant reviews !

Update - Spain win the double, as they prevail in the real World Cup ! Congratulations ! For a more detailed Food World Cup, take a look at the World Cup Food Challenge blog.

World Cup - Quarter Finals

Into the quarters and there's some cracking ties. There's no room for error and a split sauce could be the difference between booking a semi-final spot and taking a flight home.

France 3 England 1

Oh come on now, you didn't think that we would win this one? We may talk a good game in this country but for the French, food is part of the fabric of life in a way that we can only aspire to. It took all kinds of manipulation on my part to get England this far but in the end, les coqs go through.

It was an ultra professional performance with the likes of foie gras, confit, and andouillette proving too uncomfortable for the English. In fact all over the pitch, the English were made to feel second best and slightly inadequate.

For example, poor old apple crumble just seemed out of its depth when put up against tarte fine aux pommes. The only player that stood tall against the French was black pudding from Lancashire, who showed boudin noir a thing or two.

Japan 4 Portugal 1

Both teams rely on the sea and it's more than a bit ironic that it was the Portuguese that introduced tempura to Japan. But there's only so far dainty pastel de nata and my love of Nando's can take a team. In the final reckoning, the Portuguese were mauled by the superior Japanese.

However it was the noodles rather than the sea that saw the Japanese to victory. As the game wore on, Portugal found itself tangled up in ramen, udon, and soba. The only area in which the European team prevailed was their famed baking skills from which they nicked a consolation goal.

S.Korea 1 Australia 2

There was a large part of me that wanted Korea to win but I've got to be true to myself, I like Aussie food – despite their penchant for beetroot. Don't think I've gone all soft though, I still dislike Aussie sports teams. Joking aside, some of the best food I've eaten has been down under and I do like the Aussie people (with the exception of Ricky Ponting). 

Brilliant seafood, juicy steaks, as well as arguably the best East Asian food outside of the region itself epitomise the excellence of the lucky country. Whether the Aussies would've prevailed against other Asian cuisines is doubtful. The thing is whilst I like Korean food, I think its far from the best that Asia can offer. You can blame that on the kimchi.

Italy 2 Spain 2 (Spain win 5-4 on penalties)

These two countries hate one another when it comes to footy. The Italians think the Spanish lack bottle. On the other hand, the Spanish think the Italians are overly negative. This rivalry extends across to food and these Mediterranean titans serve up the best game of the tournament so far.

This was a belter with some fascinating battles such as parma ham v jamon serrano, salami v chorizo, risotto v paella etc. Now you might think that my love for the noodle would give the pasta boys the edge but there's more to food than noodles.

In the end, the first penalty shoot-out of the tournament settled this tie. The last Italian penalty sees risotto step up and shoot wide. Could paella hold its nerve and score – yes it could and Spain sneak through to the semis.

Next Time

Those of you who are getting heartily sick of my World Cup posts will be pleased to hear that the tournament concludes next Friday. The semis are France v Japan and Spain v Australia so we're in for a great final, no matter who qualifies.

World Cup - The Last 16

Compared to the real World Cup, there have been few real shocks in my parallel tournament. That said, there are a few teams that may rue their poor group stage form, in particular the USA and Brazil have tough ties against Australia and Spain respectively. There are no second chances with meals level after 90 minutes going to extra time, and possibly penalties.

France 3 Argentina 1

Argentina scores early to take a surprise lead. However steak and empanadas prove a tad one-dimensional and the superior French team reply twice in quick succession. In the second half, the French start taking the piss but they nearly pay for their impudence as dulce du leche nearly equalises before tarte tatin scores a third for the French.

S.Africa 1 S.Korea 2

The host nation bows out at this stage, as they were no match for the Koreans. Like the Argentines, the South Africans rely too much on meat but despite nicking an early goal the braai is marked out of the game by Korea’s bulgogi. In the end, the superior technique of the Koreans prevails.

England 3 Germany 0

I'll be honest the scoreline bears no reflection to the actual game – I just like the sound of it. In truth, this encounter was a bit turgid and many of the more sophisticated teams turned their noses up at this attritional stodge based affair. Goals by potted shrimp, fish & chips, and apple crumble settle this tie for the English. I'll be happy if the football follows this scoreline !

USA 3 Australia 4 (extra time)

This was the tie of the round and I doubt that there will be many better games in the whole tournament. Both sides have a similar approach as they feature barbecue, steaks, seafood, and ethnic influences mixed in with an arrogant swagger and a belief that they are the best. The Aussies win in extra time on the basis that their Chinese food is superior to that found in the States.

Japan 4 New Zealand 1

Japan was one of the pre-tournament favourites and New Zealand should feel no shame in being beaten by such a convincing scoreline. It could have been a lot worse as the best modern fusion chefs from New Zealand were obliterated by the traditional approach undertaken by specialist Japanese artists.

Denmark 0 Italy 1

In sporting parlance, Italy is a tournament team who peak in the latter stages. Before the business end of the tournament, they struggle and it's no exception against the foraging Danes. However, the Danish can find no way past the Italian back line of ciabatta, risotto, spaghetti and gnocchi. As we see all too often the desserts nick it at the end for the Italians.

Portugal 2 Switzerland 0

This is a battle between two differing food ideologies, the land locked Swiss against the seafaring Portuguese. For me, there's only one winner and the fish batter the Swiss into submission. The Portuguese should have won by a wider margin and pastel de nata squandered many chances before scoring late on in this game.

Brazil 0 Spain 3

This would be a worthy final in the real World Cup but in my eyes, the heavyweight Brazilian churrascria is outpaced by the lighter tapas and fish based dishes. Whilst at the other end, the jamon stop the Brazilians from launching attacks of their own. On this kind of form, we could well have seen the future champions.

Next Time
Next Friday sees the quarter-finals and there are four great ties. Can the underdogs, England overcome France ? Who will win the battle of the Med, Italy or Spain ? Will the Portuguese be able to upset the seemingly unstoppable Japanese ? And how will the Aussies cope with South Korea ?

World Cup - 1st Round

photo, courtesy Wikipedia

So here we go – let battle commence for the Foodie World Cup. From 32 teams, we are looking for 16 qualifiers for the knockout stages. The group stages are where the less fancied teams could spring a shock but the league format usually sees the big boys qualify.

Group A – 1st France 2nd S.Africa
It's a no-brainer that France storms this group but second place is wide open. In the end, South Africa prevail, as home advantage should never be underestimated especially as Mexican food doesn't travel well. A friend of mine did extol Uruguay's virtues but he didn't come up with enough specific details to convince me.

Group B – 1st S.Korea 2nd Argentina
The 'group of death' is a glib cliché often used by sports commentators but in this case, it's very apt. You've really got to feel for Greece, as it's more than likely that they would've qualified from any other group. As it is they fall at the first hurdle with South Korea emerging as group winners closely followed by Argentina's muscular steak based team. Nigeria finishes a distant last.

Group C – 1st England 2nd USA
This group was another close one with Algeria's brave team nearly edging out the USA (everyone raises their games against Uncle Sam). This group was so close that it was decided on goal difference (yes – I am making this up as I go along). And it was England that shocked the foodie world by topping this group following some magnificent performances, in particular a thrilling draw against the USA (last minute equaliser by Birmingham's Balti). Slovenia just couldn't quite handle the food at this level.

Group D – 1st Australia 2nd Germany
Australia run away with this group, their mix of surf and turf with multicultural influences was just too strong for the likes of Germany, Serbia, and Ghana. Second place was wide open and Germany emerged not because their food was any good but because it's a World Cup and they always qualify for the knockout stages.

Group E – 1st Japan 2nd Denmark
As one of the pre-tournament favourites, Japan saunter through this group. Denmark is said to have the best restaurant in the world but they would've qualified from this group anyway as I like Scandinavian grub. That said Holland and Cameroon didn't offer much resistance.

Group F – 1st Italy 2nd New Zealand
As is often the way in major tournaments, Italy start slowly and they claim top spot just ahead of an up and coming New Zealand. Slovakia can be discounted, not least because I was ripped off over a bottle of red wine in Bratislava last year and I don't know much about Paraguay (except that it isn't Uruguay).

Group G – 1st Portugal 2nd Brazil
Portugal and Brazil are the teams competing for first place with the former colonial masters edging it by an egg tart. It's sad that North Korea is closed off to the rest of the world, as this has hindered its culinary development. Ivory Coast's chefs aren't as renowned as their footballers and they bring up the rear.

Group H – 1st Spain 2nd Switzerland
This is one group where food follows football, as Spain would be one of the favourites in both fields and they cruise through this group (unlike their footballers). Second place goes to Switzerland as I've eaten in great restaurants in Zurich. Besides, I'm too busy watching football to research the respective cuisines of Honduras or Chile.

Next Time
No real shocks so far although some might raise an eyebrow at the failure of Mexico. The Greeks and Algerians can also consider themselves unlucky not to qualify when the likes of England, Germany and Switzerland have. For many the World Cup comes to life in the knockout stages. This tournament is no exception and there are some fascinating ties in next Friday's last 16 including France v Argentina, Australia v USA, and England v Germany.

World Cup - The Excluded

The World Cup starts today and to celebrate, Eat Noodles Love Noodles will be hosting an alternative Foodie World Cup. This promises to be a hopelessly biased affair where only my opinions and prejudices count. I'm sure many of you will disagree with how the tournament will unfold so I’m looking forward to your comments.

To keep things simple, the same 32 teams from the real World Cup will compete in my parallel competition. However, strength in football doesn't always equate to strength in food. There is some crossover with countries such as France, Italy and Spain but the small Asian presence (just Japan and the two Koreas) means that whoever wins my Foodie World Cup can't really be considered true champions.

So in this post, I'll be running the rule over those countries that haven't made the real World Cup but would make the Foodie World Cup. As you've probably have worked out by now, most of these teams hail from Asia.

Dim Sum (China)

Greater China

Any discussion of the best food in the world has to include China. I'm not sure how FIFA rules work but this cuisine could be represented by as many as four teams if you include Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan. In fact, there's a strong argument that Taiwan represents the best of Chinese cuisine given that there was a mass exodus of chefs to the island following the end of the Chinese Civil War in 1949.

China has strength in depth and a varied playing style e.g. the subtle midfield promptings of the Cantonese combine well with the powerful Sichuan attack. Whilst they can keep it simple with steaming and stir-frying, there is also creativity in abundance with dim sum and banquet dishes giving the team that extra quality.

In fact the squad is so strong, there are entire regions that would struggle to get in the starting line-up and have to make do with a place on the subs bench. I'm thinking spicy Hunanese and exotic Yunnanese could prove handy if a late winner is required. Like Brazil in the real World Cup, China is the team to beat in any Foodie World Cup.

Masala Dosa (India)

Indian Sub-continent

India also benefits from a vast population and regional diversity. They would certainly be nailed-on semi-finalists and potential champions. I can see seafood and vegetarian dishes from the south combining with heavyweight dishes from the north to win most battles. Of course, this is a gross over-simplification and in common with China there will be many regional cuisines ready to come on as a sub to win vital games.

Of the other teams, I fear an overreliance on grills and breads may mean that Pakistan lack the subtlety and variety to reach the latter stages. On the other hand, Bangladesh may surprise a few with their fish dishes although of course their Bengali style is one that India are also very familiar with.

The dark horse is surely Sri Lanka, which being an island nation has resulted in it developing a more individual cuisine. Super spicy curries, a way with seafood and imaginative street snacks mark this team out as one that that could upset more fancied contenders. 

Beef Rendang (Malaysia)

Straits Cuisine
Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia benefit from multiculturalism. On paper, teams that synergise elements of Chinese and Indian cuisines with their own indigenous food culture have to be genuine contenders. However, how well the various cuisines combine is open to question and there is a suspicion that the sum could well be less than its parts.

There's a healthy rivalry between Malaysia and Singapore. From my own experiences, the former probably has greater strength in depth although the latter may feel that their high-end dining scene gives them an edge. I don't know as much about Indonesia except that the Indian influence is less pronounced. However, this is more than compensated by the many regional cuisines from different islands like Bali and Java.

I think all three teams are capable of reaching the latter stages with my favourite being Malaysia. However, I have my doubts as to whether any of the three countries has quite enough class to lift the crown.

Goi Cuon (Vietnam)

South East Asia

I'm sure Burma, Cambodia and Laos have what it takes to qualify for the Foodie World Cup proper but I'm going to focus on the two regional behemoths, Thailand and Vietnam. Personally I prefer the latter but both are definite contenders for the title and on their day capable of beating any cuisine in the world.

To use a football analogy, I see these cuisines as being imbued with the spirit of teams like the contemporary Barcelona or the vintage Brazil i.e. aesthetically pleasing, technically superior and with an abundance of creativity. But as we all know by now, the best teams don't always win trophies.

And so I fear more robust teams may knock them about and rough up their mix of street food and traditional Imperial cuisines. But win, lose or draw I doubt whether any cuisine will give as much joy and pleasure to the tastebuds as these two during this World Cup.

Kebabs (Lebanon)

Eastern Mediterranean

I don't know much about the food from the Eastern Mediterranean but far too many foodies adore this cuisine for me to ignore it. This region is poorly represented in the real World Cup with only Greece making it to the finals.

In particular, the powerhouses of Lebanon and Turkey are conspicuous by their absence. Both have a winning mix of subtlety, grace and power – think hummus, baklava and kebab – to overcome most cuisines. I favour the Lebanese and whilst I may not have these teams at the top of the pile, I can appreciate why other pundits believe otherwise.

The Rest

Off the top of my head, I can think of a few other cuisines that should be in the tournament like Caribbean, Moroccan and Persian. I'd love to hear from you if you think there is a country worthy of inclusion in the Foodie World Cup that isn't in the real competition (see here for a list of the 32 actual World Cup teams).

Next Time

Every Friday is World Cup day on Eat Noodles Love Noodles. Next week sees the tournament proper commence and there'll either be heartache or joy as only 16 of the 32 teams will advance to the knockout stages.