Italian menus are very tempting with their selection of antipasti, zuppe, primi, secondi, contorni and dolce. However, I reined in my natural tendencies to have it all, and just plumped for two courses (most of the time). But for my fantasy meal, I'm going for a full four-course affair washed down with a few glasses of Brunello di Montalcino.
The easiest choice out of my four courses is the antipasti in the form of finocchiona, salami made with fennel seeds. Fennel is used a lot in Tuscan cuisine, and I love the aniseedy zip it lends to the sausage.
Onto the next course, and it's a choice of soup, risotto or pasta for primi. This is a no-brainer. After all, I am Mr Noodles, so it has to be pasta (in the form of noodles, mind, not shapes). Besides, I've never really liked risotto that much, and nor did I really take to bread-thickened local soups such as ribollita and papa de pomodoro during my stay in Tuscany.
But choosing a pasta course is hard work, as there are loads of great options. After much deliberation, I'm going for tagliolini al tartufo. There are better pasta dishes out there, but I think this dish of tagliolini in a rich buttery sauce topped with truffle shavings works best with the rest of my meal.
The thing is dishes like papardelle al cinghale, a Tuscan classic made with wild boar sauce, is a bit much in the context of a four-course meal. I also thought long and hard about going for tagliolini al sugo d'anatra e finocchieto selvetico, a dish that bizarrely had an almost Chinese flavour with its combination of eggy noodles in a boozy duck and wild fennel sauce. This was probably my favourite pasta dish from my trip, but I don't want to double-up on fennel, having started with the finocchiona.
Onto the secondi, and there's only really one way to go: bistecca alla Fiorentina. What's not to love about a T-bone steak, usually upwards of 1kg in weight, cooked rare? The only other contender was also from the grill: lombatina di vitella alla griglia. However, when it comes to meat top trumps, T-bone steak beats veal chop.
To accompany my steak, I'm going for a side of roasted tomatoes with basil (remember five-a-day!). I've also got my eye on some roast potatoes with rosemary but I have to say no to leave room for dolci.
At this point in my imaginary meal, I've ordered an espresso and asked for the bill. I know you're thinking I've wussed out of dessert, but I haven't. I just need some air and a little walk before pitching up at a gelateria, where I order a scoop of pistachio ice cream and a scoop of something that's been recommended. Oh yes, this is the life; this is what the Italians call la dolce vita. It's just a shame that it seems such a long time ago!
