Wonton Mian @ Cha Cha Moon (Chinese), London

I feel a bit sad writing this post given that there are so few high profile ethnic Chinese people in Britain. I guess you may have worked out from the opening sentence that this isn't going to be a flattering write-up. That said, I think it'd be worse if I gave Alan Yau an easy ride just because like me, he's British Chinese.

There aren't many people who can say that they've changed eating habits but Yau certainly can, from the day Wagamama opened its doors in 1992. After introducing Japanese noodles and communal benches to the masses, he then brought Chinese restaurants kicking and screaming into the 21st Century with Hakkasan and Yauatcha. His take on modern Chinese cuisine and all day dim sum may not be to all tastes but the food is technically brilliant and both restaurants have a Michelin star.   

Yau has limited involvement with the above eateries having sold Wagamama years ago and retaining only a minority interest In Hakkasan and Yautacha. This doesn't means he slowing down as he still owns upmarket Japanese restaurant, Sake No Hana; casual Thai chain, Busaba Eathai; and his newest creation, Cha Cha Moon, a Chinese noodle bar.

Cha Cha Moon opened in 2008 amid much fanfare as Yau went back to his Hong Kong roots to open up a Chinese noodle bar in Soho. I went a couple of times during the launch period but sadly the noodles didn't live up to the hype. Apologists may point out that they were selling all dishes for £3.50 during this period but low prices shouldn't be an excuse for some of the crap that was being served.

I had no intention of returning here until I read a couple of favourable recent write-ups by TomEatsJenCooks and London Chow. Sadly, my experience didn't chime with theirs. It may be that I set the bar higher than these guys. It may be that I have different tastes. It may be that they ordered better than I did. But I found the food was as big a let down as before. Except this time the disappointment cost more than £3.50 per dish. 

Cha Cha Moon doesn't do starters or desserts; they serve only mains and sides with the objective of getting punters 'in and out' as quickly as possible. That said my side dish of fried prawn guotie (£4.60) arrived first. This dish immediately got my hackles up, as these weren't guotie, which are dumplings that are steamed and pan-fried on the bottom. These impostors were deep-fried and their meagre underseasoned prawn filling was a big disappointment. They reminded me of the ersatz Chinese snacks that supermarkets sell and the only redeeming feature of this dish was the garlic soy dip.

Sadly things didn't get any better with my wonton mian (£6.00). The broth was flavourless with the only discernible taste being the slight taint of 'gan shui' or alkaline water. Fresh egg noodles or san mein are made with alkaline water (usually water with added potassium carbonate) to provide a springy texture. However, any potential aftertaste should be removed by rinsing the noodles thoroughly, something that they failed to do here. As the broth was so insipid, it was a relief that the garlic soy dip that came with the guotie was on hand to pep up the noodles.

On the plus side, the chicken and prawn wontons were properly seasoned although there wasn't enough prawn for my liking. These were passable wontons but I'm not sure why chicken was used instead of the traditional pork. The portion size was a total rip-off too as there were only four wontons in the bowl. Most Chinatown caffs charge no more than a fiver for this dish and they serve at least five or six wontons. I was still hungry after spending around £13 including tea and and a tip.

I know some of you may be thinking that I ordered the 'wrong dish' but if a Chinese noodle bar can't knock up a decent bowl of wonton noodles then you do wonder what its raison d’être is? I mean would you think it acceptable if a pizzeria served up a sub-standard pizza margherita?

Service was better than I remember although their intention to get you in and out as quickly as possible wasn't particularly well disguised (perhaps they're more Chinese than I give them credit for). Some may like the trendy interior design but I think it's pretty soulless. In particular, the communal benches got on my nerves, especially the one I was sat on with high chairs.

Cha Cha Moon can probably survive catering to tourists and kids with silly haircuts but this is probably more to do with its Soho location than actually being any good. It should be noted that when a second branch opened in the mini-Chinatown of Bayswater, it closed after only a few months.

Going back to start of this write-up, I do admire Alan Yau for being a British Chinese role model. However based on recent visits, I can't say I'm a big fan of any of his eateries, in particular this place. If I were in charge, I'd ditch this brand entirely and set up a proper noodle bar, somewhere like like Hung Tao with a wide selection of noodles, siu mei (Cantonese BBQ), and authentic treats like congee.

Verdict: An exercise in style over substance, Cha Cha Moon (together with chains like Ping Pong and dim t) in many ways represents the worse of Chinese and Oriental cuisine in London. It says it all when the highlight of my meal was the garlic soy dip.

Other Stuff: If you want noodles in this part of Soho, then go to Ramen Seto, where you won't leave feeling hungry after spending £13.